Parents Are Vulnerable Too
by EsmeAmelia
Summary: When young Ben Solo has nightmares, he thinks his parents can protect him - but then he learns that they too have nightmares.


AN: Nope, still don't own Star Wars. I don't know why all these Ben-angst fics keep popping into my head, but they do.

"Parents Are Vulnerable Too"

By EsmeAmelia

Ben felt safe in his mother's arms, especially in the middle of the night. After he had a scary dream – which happened most nights – he would go straight to his parents' bed and his mom would take him into her arms and stroke his hair as he cried into her nightshirt, then she would wrap her arms around him as the three of them went back to sleep together.

Of course, Daddy and Mommy usually went back to sleep long before Ben did, but he was okay with that. Their snoring – Daddy's loud, Mommy's soft – was soothing and rhythmic, letting Ben know that they were _there_ and they would wake up if he had another nightmare.

He took a deep breath, pressing his mother's hand against his cheek, absorbing the warmth of her skin and the sweet smell of her hand lotion. The smell let him know that he was _safe_ here. His eyes started drooping shut as he kept inhaling her scent. For once he wasn't afraid to fall asleep . . .

"Mmmm . . ."

His eyes snapped open at his mother's voice. Something was wrong – the feeling shot through him as quickly as his eyes had shot open. His breath came out in pants as he stared at her face in the eerie city lights that peeked through the windows. "Mommy?" he whispered.

"NO!" she cried out. "No . . . stop . . . DON'T!"

Her terror pulsed through Ben – _her_ terror. Behind his blinks he saw a blue and green planet sitting helplessly among the stars until a streak of light blasted it into countless pieces, ending millions of lives.

"NO!" Mommy screamed again, the arm that held Ben now trembling just like his own arms trembled after a nightmare.

"Mommy?" Ben repeated, gripping her shaking fingers. "Mommy?"

"Stop . . . don't . . . please . . . don't . . ."

Her every word jolted through Ben like lightning, numbing his insides, stilling his breath, making him want _out_ of her arms, out of the bed, out of this moment. He tried to call out her name again, but his mouth froze as his heart rammed against his ribs.

"Don't . . . no . . . NO!"

Her scream bellowed into Ben's ear and he gained enough freedom of mobility to at least reach one arm out towards the other person who was supposed to protect him.

"Daddy?" he sniffled, his voice coming out raspy and ragged as he touched his father's scratchy cheek. "Daddy, wake up!"

Daddy only snored in response, unaware of his wife's cries or his son's actions. _Unaware._ He didn't know what was happening and couldn't help.

"Daddy PLEASE wake up!" Ben cried out, grabbing his father's cheek. "Something's wrong with Mommy!"

Daddy finally opened his eyes, grunting as he woke up. "Wha? Ben? What's goin' on?"

Ben could only utter one word in his raspy voice. "Mommy . . ."

As if she'd heard her name, Mommy screamed again, the edges of her eyes glistening in the dim light.

Daddy swallowed, staring at Mommy as he wrapped his arm around Ben. "It's okay, buddy," he said in a hasty voice. "Mommy's just having a nightmare. We just have to wake her up and everything will be fine."

Everything will be fine, Daddy said, but Ben could feel waves of Daddy's fear pulsing through him. Why would Daddy be afraid if everything would be fine?

Was Daddy _lying?_

No, no, Daddy wouldn't lie.

Daddy wouldn't lie . . .

"Leia?" Daddy was calling, grabbing Mommy's shoulder and shaking it like he sometimes did when Ben had a nightmare. "Leia, wake up! You're havin' a nightmare!"

Finally Mommy's screams stopped, replaced by gasps instead as she stared at her husband and son. She breathed in and out, in and out, in and out, but the fear still came off of her as if part of her was still in the nightmare. "Ben?" she whispered. "Sweetheart, did I scare you?"

Ben could only burst into tears as his mother gathered him up into her arms: the same arms that were supposed to protect him. In a few seconds, Daddy gathered Ben up on the other side, sandwiching him in his parents' hugs. "It's all right, sweetheart," Daddy murmured. "Everyone gets nightmares. Mommy gets nightmares, Daddy gets nightmares, but they're not real."

Mommy gets nightmares. Daddy gets nightmares. Ben trembled in his parents' arms as those words ran through his head.

Mommy kissed her son's head. "I'm so sorry I scared you, honey. I'm all right now." She kissed his head again. "Would you like some water or something?"

The child sniffled, wiping his nose on his pajama sleeve. "T-turn on the light . . . please . . ."

Daddy reached up to turn on the light, but before he could reach it a sob pushed its way out of Ben and with it a wave of energy shot through him, knocking the lamp over.

Both Mommy and Daddy held their breaths at that and Ben could feel more fear pulsing from them. They were afraid of the Force, afraid of what he could do . . .

Afraid of _him?_

Daddy ran his hand through Ben's hair, massaging his scalp, trying to provide comfort even though Ben could clearly sense that he was terrified. "It's all right, son. I'll get you some water and we can bring a couple of your toys in here too."

Ben couldn't answer; he could only sob some more in his mother's arms, and despite her kisses and cuddles, he still felt her fear as well.

How could Mommy and Daddy protect him from his nightmares when they were scared of nightmares themselves?

. . .

Mommy and Daddy were sleeping again. Once more, Mommy had her arms wrapped around Ben, and this time Ben even had his own arms wrapped around his toy tooka and toy bantha, but despite their softness pressing against his body, Ben kept trembling. If he came close to falling asleep, his mother's screams would pulse through his mind, jolting him back awake.

" _They can't protect you . . ."_

Ben gulped, squeezing his toys as close to him as physically possible. Why did the voice in his head have to talk to him _now?_

" _Your parents are afraid. They are vulnerable."_

 _Vulnerable._ It was a word the voice used often. He had told Ben many times that being _vulnerable_ was even worse than being afraid.

Being _vulnerable_ meant anyone could hurt you.

Ben suddenly felt cold despite the blankets wrapped around him and Mommy's warm embrace. "C-can't you help them like you help me?"

" _No. They are too afraid to accept my help, just like how they are afraid of you."_

"No! No, they're not scared of me!"

" _They see your powers. They know what you can become someday and it frightens them. You cannot rely on them."_

Ben sniffled, not wanting to believe the voice. No, Mommy and Daddy weren't afraid of him, were they?

Then again, he had felt their fear when he knocked the lamp over . . .

" _It's all right, young Ben."_ The voice was gentle, kind, reminiscent of how Daddy talked to Ben after hard days. _"You cannot rely on them, but you can rely on me. I don't fear you._

 _"I will always be here for you."_

THE END


End file.
